Conversation with Mary
Mary and her husband, Keith
Who has been the most influential person in your life?
My maternal grandmother, Gay, who lived with us from the time I was born until her death after I had left home and whose voice remains with me still.
Gay was a midwife at my birth in 1930, during The Great Depression. Times were hard for everyone, but somehow Gay managed to buy a set of the “Modern World Encyclopaedia” from a travelling salesman. Ten squat brown books with the alphabetical index embossed in gold on their spines. 9 volumes and a World Atlas in which much of the map was coloured pink representing members of the British Empire. The pages are flimsy, with tiny print and spidery illustrations, blurry black & white photos of lands across the sea. They were my childhood companions and I love them still. Just last week I looked up Prague in one of the volumes.
What is the most important thing in your life today?
A stable marriage, a close family, good health and security.
What has been the happiest moment of your life?
Nothing can be happier than the birth of a healthy child, so I have had four happiest moments:
First a boy in the patriarchal 50’s, the birth of a son was a moment of delirious happiness, and relief!
Then a baby girl, secretly a wish comet true
Then another baby girl, a doubly precious moment because of a previous still-birth.
The final gift of a boy – the family circle complete
What event has most changed your life?
At age 45, finding full-time work outside the home, which I loved. Every day on arriving at work, I would stop and inhale the smell of the place! It opened up a whole new and exciting world, gave me confidence, skills, financial independence and a wealth of memories.
What is the biggest benefit old age has brought?
The NSW Government Seniors Card – for travel concessions
Today, what activities give you the most enjoyment?
- Early morning walks, wherever I am
- Reading
- The SMH Quick Crossword and Target
- Movies with my best friend
- “Tea and Symphony” with my eldest daughter
- Lunch and the theatre with my youngest daughter
- Travel with my husband, the planning, the journey and discovering places
- An occasional surf
How would you like to be remembered?
I would like to be remembered, and hope and believe, that the family will know that I really try to do my best, even if that may have fallen short at times! So that is my epitaph: “Here lies Mary – she did her best”.
Has the world become a better or worse place to live since you were a child?
The world is an amazing place – the advances made since the 1930’s, in health and medicine, science & technology, education, social services, the status of women, continue to be made. What is lost however is freedom, especially for children who no longer have the carefree, inconsequential, running wild growing up period that some previous generations enjoyed. Most of the current rules, regulations and restrictions are of course, in concern for safety, so are obviously necessary, but it’s a bit of a shame.
So yes, the world has become a better place to live in, with a few nostalgic reservations.
What do you know today and wish you had known when you were 20 years old?
The importance of tertiary education
What makes you happy?
- Catching up with my children and grandchildren
- Books, movies, plays, concerts, all take me to another place, and are great for discussion afterwards
- Morning walks set me up for the day, physically
- Solving crosswords and puzzles brings a sense of achievement
- Catching a wave to shore is total exhilaration
- Travel for the excitement and discovery of history and culture in strange and foreign places
- A couple of glasses of lovely wine!
(Conversation with Amanda, Mary's daughter, January 2011)
Conversation with Carole
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Carole was born towards the end of the Second World War in Newcastle upon Tyne, North East England. Throughout our interview Carole reflected upon her past, from recalling having to queue up with ration books for eggs and butter to establishing a new business and traveling the world as a successful businesswoman.
Carole grew up in a suburban street without so much as a park nearby and wasn’t exposed to television until the age of 10. Despite the poorer quality of life, Carole believes children had more freedom back then, they were allowed out by themselves at a very early age, recalling that she was five when she started walking to school. While her children grew up in a much richer environment, living in along side a river and being able to play in their little tinny and kayak. But her children didn’t have the freedom which she had as a child. Carole also commented on how kids are now inundated with very graphic images (such as the earthquake in New Zealand and Japan). Carole feels concerned about the affect these images have on them and believes we are becoming more desensitized.
Carole grew up in a suburban street without so much as a park nearby and wasn’t exposed to television until the age of 10. Despite the poorer quality of life, Carole believes children had more freedom back then, they were allowed out by themselves at a very early age, recalling that she was five when she started walking to school. While her children grew up in a much richer environment, living in along side a river and being able to play in their little tinny and kayak. But her children didn’t have the freedom which she had as a child. Carole also commented on how kids are now inundated with very graphic images (such as the earthquake in New Zealand and Japan). Carole feels concerned about the affect these images have on them and believes we are becoming more desensitized.
Carole is the youngest of two, married to John and has three boys of her own. Carole’s passion for English Literature and French, both influenced her chosen career and led her to her husband John. Carole met John at a language class in London, which many jokingly referred to as "The Lonely Hearts Club", due to the English winter being so cold and bleak. In 1972 Carole and John moved to Australia and bought a little cottage on the river in Gladesville.
Since moving to Australia, Carole has enjoyed a successful career, initially studying at Macquarie University before being offered a tutorship. Carole managed to successfully juggle study, work and bringing up a family. After a decade with Macquarie Uni, Carole moved into Human Resources and worked for a number of corporate organisations before establishing her own company with three other colleagues. Carole's corporate career offered many benefits such as traveling to many places, from UK, US, Dubai, Nomeau and Tahiti.
Carole recalled one of her ‘heart-stopping moments’, the time she received a phone call about one of her teenage sons being in a car accident. As she has three boys she admitted there have been a few of those types of moments. Carole also came to terms with her own mortality when she underwent major heart surgery, but spoke of how it made her appreciate the simple things in life, like a beautiful sunset or walking by the beach.
Carole recalled one of her ‘heart-stopping moments’, the time she received a phone call about one of her teenage sons being in a car accident. As she has three boys she admitted there have been a few of those types of moments. Carole also came to terms with her own mortality when she underwent major heart surgery, but spoke of how it made her appreciate the simple things in life, like a beautiful sunset or walking by the beach.
When asked about one of the most memorable moments in her career she reflected upon how she designed a program for people who had left school at a very early age to give them the necessary skills and training required so that they could progress further in their place of employment. The difference this had on their confidence and self esteem was enormous and ultimately made them more able employable. While Carole has now retired, she still continues to help people build and develop their literacy skills by doing volunteer work for the Literacy Network of NSW.
“It's how you fit in your environment and how you can influence and make a positive difference on other people is what gives you the greatest sense of satisfaction in life.” Carole advises those interested in volunteering to look through for the 'Volunteer Search' column in SMH.
Carole views friendships and family as one of the most important things in life, reflecting on her close friends “as you get older together you have similar experiences and that's very bonding”. Carole also has a special relationship with her grandchildren, advising that being there for your grandchildren when they need you is very important.
While still feeling mentally about 33, Carole believes the main disadvantage is “that all the physical bits stop working or co-ordinating as well as they use to”. Carole notes that with age, you also learn the skill to accommodate your expectations and other peoples. However, discussing the importance of having the right attitude, Carole reflected upon an older lady who can only get around with a walking frame and yet she is always bright and cheerful and makes the effort to go swimming everyday despite the effort it must take to get there.
While still feeling mentally about 33, Carole believes the main disadvantage is “that all the physical bits stop working or co-ordinating as well as they use to”. Carole notes that with age, you also learn the skill to accommodate your expectations and other peoples. However, discussing the importance of having the right attitude, Carole reflected upon an older lady who can only get around with a walking frame and yet she is always bright and cheerful and makes the effort to go swimming everyday despite the effort it must take to get there.
Carole believes it’s important to appreciate that life is finite, to make the most out of what you have and not feel too sorry for yourself. Don’t take anything for granted.
(Conversation with Nicola, April 2011)